Generosity
Delia's Tips
A little Laugh
Stroke Victims
One of those days
FW: * NEW WORDS FOR 2007
New technology from Apple
Senior Centre
a short riddle
Blondes
Handy flight companion
Tuesday's FUNNY...........
Leave us blondes alone
to all my online friends
Chopper at his best: "Harden The F*@# Up!" NSFW
Yanks & Guns
Emoticons
[No Subject]
Amazing
If
Children are wonderful
I am only the delivery boy.
Apologies to the Italians......
My dog Skippy
senior citizen
CHOCOLATE HAVE PLENTY OF IT FOR NEW YEAR
Cowboy boots
Top 10 Christmas Carols For The Disturbed
Have you seen the world's shortest books?
great XMAS gift
great XMAS gift
SPECIAL GIFTS
Xmas Joke
The Cold
How true!!
FW: Port Adelaide Maths Exam
onions & christmas tree's
Japanese Illusionist
Many fathers
True friends don't let u drink n drive
MERRY CHRISTMAS from SANTA.....not!
Man of the house!
Lateral Thinking
Collingwood girls - gotta love them!
THE PUMPKIN
Fishing
Migrants Excuse
The medicine man
Office Skirmish...
Senior Thinking--a smile for your day...
FlightSim X Game
Serious Sergeant Major
Speedbandits NSFW
Tall stories
More Blonde Jokes
Question
What all blokes have been looking to find out...how to keep a woman happy
Monday Afternoon Smiles
The Yuppie...
Warning....beware of little fingers.....
Beer Entrapment - timely, being that it's Friday
Vet Fees
Man accused of having relations with dog
Real #911 Calls
Can you figure it?
God is good
Gender test
Blonde Joke for the day
Shopping for a blow up doll
HOW TO POO AT WORK
Fwd: FW: Fwd: Who says men don't remember anniversaries?
Fairy Story
First Kiss....
Simple question, simple answer
FW: Plane Stuff
sexist jokes, though entertaining :)
blondes
Last Child Support Payment
The Truth behind Women's Restrooms
blondes?
SYLVESTER AND TWEETY
10 Worst Company web Domains
FW: check this out!!
Futuristic Motel
snow
FW: Men are happier people!
WORLD WAR III IS COMING!
History Test
Drinking Quotes
mwa huh huh
approaches
Scientific study
acronyms
hooker joke
Time for a Quickie
Irish Coffee
nurses
so......... Who's Proof Reading?
Brave Men
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
GOOD - BETTER - BEST
2 jokes
Pensions
Men Strike Back!?
Clever Aussie
FUNNY-- Cat lover or not
FW: Test for Dementia
A few things you have probably never thought about!
Joke of the Year
BEWARE OF SCAM...
Another Blond Joke
The extroidinary life of older people in the suburbs
They Walk Among Us
Little Johnny...............(again)
Mid Life Crisis...
Fairy tale
BLUFFING
dishes
THE JOKE THAT JUST HAD TO HAPPEN
Elmo joke
Charles and Camilla
LITTLE JOHNNY RETURNS
the audit............
FW: Help Desk Jokes - this is funny!
Women
Two women
the genie
AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT
Good joke!!!
Faulty Driver, Faulty Policeman
Joke of the week!
noah's ark
7 KINDS OF SEX
FW: More Sesame Street goodness
If football teams were women
FW: Your Brazilian shirt name
This is cool
Payrise
FW: Test for Cataracts........ NSFW
FW: Do you have 710?
Dear Dad letter....- brilliant!
FW: What a Great Idea! :-)
FW: ooohh im excited
FW: Full Nike Football ads - BRILLIANT!
quote from Robot Chicken
FW: Possible Recruit
FW: World Cup
FW: try to park the car - very addictive
FW: Four Friends
FW: Drivers Licence
FW: The story of Sheep
FW: Advice for a friday...
FW: pirate talk translator
WORTH REPEATING
AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT

Possibly the funniest story in a long while, this is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had his guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down on to me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kevin Roben.

Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd
 
 
From Oto on 7/10/2006