Generosity
Delia's Tips
A little Laugh
Stroke Victims
One of those days
FW: * NEW WORDS FOR 2007
New technology from Apple
Senior Centre
a short riddle
Blondes
Handy flight companion
Tuesday's FUNNY...........
Leave us blondes alone
to all my online friends
Chopper at his best: "Harden The F*@# Up!" NSFW
Yanks & Guns
Emoticons
[No Subject]
Amazing
If
Children are wonderful
I am only the delivery boy.
Apologies to the Italians......
My dog Skippy
senior citizen
CHOCOLATE HAVE PLENTY OF IT FOR NEW YEAR
Cowboy boots
Top 10 Christmas Carols For The Disturbed
Have you seen the world's shortest books?
great XMAS gift
great XMAS gift
SPECIAL GIFTS
Xmas Joke
The Cold
How true!!
FW: Port Adelaide Maths Exam
onions & christmas tree's
Japanese Illusionist
Many fathers
True friends don't let u drink n drive
MERRY CHRISTMAS from SANTA.....not!
Man of the house!
Lateral Thinking
Collingwood girls - gotta love them!
THE PUMPKIN
Fishing
Migrants Excuse
The medicine man
Office Skirmish...
Senior Thinking--a smile for your day...
FlightSim X Game
Serious Sergeant Major
Speedbandits NSFW
Tall stories
More Blonde Jokes
Question
What all blokes have been looking to find out...how to keep a woman happy
Monday Afternoon Smiles
The Yuppie...
Warning....beware of little fingers.....
Beer Entrapment - timely, being that it's Friday
Vet Fees
Man accused of having relations with dog
Real #911 Calls
Can you figure it?
God is good
Gender test
Blonde Joke for the day
Shopping for a blow up doll
HOW TO POO AT WORK
Fwd: FW: Fwd: Who says men don't remember anniversaries?
Fairy Story
First Kiss....
Simple question, simple answer
FW: Plane Stuff
sexist jokes, though entertaining :)
blondes
Last Child Support Payment
The Truth behind Women's Restrooms
blondes?
SYLVESTER AND TWEETY
10 Worst Company web Domains
FW: check this out!!
Futuristic Motel
snow
FW: Men are happier people!
WORLD WAR III IS COMING!
History Test
Drinking Quotes
mwa huh huh
approaches
Scientific study
acronyms
hooker joke
Time for a Quickie
Irish Coffee
nurses
so......... Who's Proof Reading?
Brave Men
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
GOOD - BETTER - BEST
2 jokes
Pensions
Men Strike Back!?
Clever Aussie
FUNNY-- Cat lover or not
FW: Test for Dementia
A few things you have probably never thought about!
Joke of the Year
BEWARE OF SCAM...
Another Blond Joke
The extroidinary life of older people in the suburbs
They Walk Among Us
Little Johnny...............(again)
Mid Life Crisis...
Fairy tale
BLUFFING
dishes
THE JOKE THAT JUST HAD TO HAPPEN
Elmo joke
Charles and Camilla
LITTLE JOHNNY RETURNS
the audit............
FW: Help Desk Jokes - this is funny!
Women
Two women
the genie
AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT
Good joke!!!
Faulty Driver, Faulty Policeman
Joke of the week!
noah's ark
7 KINDS OF SEX
FW: More Sesame Street goodness
If football teams were women
FW: Your Brazilian shirt name
This is cool
Payrise
FW: Test for Cataracts........ NSFW
FW: Do you have 710?
Dear Dad letter....- brilliant!
FW: What a Great Idea! :-)
FW: ooohh im excited
FW: Full Nike Football ads - BRILLIANT!
quote from Robot Chicken
FW: Possible Recruit
FW: World Cup
FW: try to park the car - very addictive
FW: Four Friends
FW: Drivers Licence
FW: The story of Sheep
FW: Advice for a friday...
FW: pirate talk translator
WORTH REPEATING
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.

No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.

It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew!

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?
 
 
From Oto on 8/4/2006