Generosity
Delia's Tips
A little Laugh
Stroke Victims
One of those days
FW: * NEW WORDS FOR 2007
New technology from Apple
Senior Centre
a short riddle
Blondes
Handy flight companion
Tuesday's FUNNY...........
Leave us blondes alone
to all my online friends
Chopper at his best: "Harden The F*@# Up!" NSFW
Yanks & Guns
Emoticons
[No Subject]
Amazing
If
Children are wonderful
I am only the delivery boy.
Apologies to the Italians......
My dog Skippy
senior citizen
CHOCOLATE HAVE PLENTY OF IT FOR NEW YEAR
Cowboy boots
Top 10 Christmas Carols For The Disturbed
Have you seen the world's shortest books?
great XMAS gift
great XMAS gift
SPECIAL GIFTS
Xmas Joke
The Cold
How true!!
FW: Port Adelaide Maths Exam
onions & christmas tree's
Japanese Illusionist
Many fathers
True friends don't let u drink n drive
MERRY CHRISTMAS from SANTA.....not!
Man of the house!
Lateral Thinking
Collingwood girls - gotta love them!
THE PUMPKIN
Fishing
Migrants Excuse
The medicine man
Office Skirmish...
Senior Thinking--a smile for your day...
FlightSim X Game
Serious Sergeant Major
Speedbandits NSFW
Tall stories
More Blonde Jokes
Question
What all blokes have been looking to find out...how to keep a woman happy
Monday Afternoon Smiles
The Yuppie...
Warning....beware of little fingers.....
Beer Entrapment - timely, being that it's Friday
Vet Fees
Man accused of having relations with dog
Real #911 Calls
Can you figure it?
God is good
Gender test
Blonde Joke for the day
Shopping for a blow up doll
HOW TO POO AT WORK
Fwd: FW: Fwd: Who says men don't remember anniversaries?
Fairy Story
First Kiss....
Simple question, simple answer
FW: Plane Stuff
sexist jokes, though entertaining :)
blondes
Last Child Support Payment
The Truth behind Women's Restrooms
blondes?
SYLVESTER AND TWEETY
10 Worst Company web Domains
FW: check this out!!
Futuristic Motel
snow
FW: Men are happier people!
WORLD WAR III IS COMING!
History Test
Drinking Quotes
mwa huh huh
approaches
Scientific study
acronyms
hooker joke
Time for a Quickie
Irish Coffee
nurses
so......... Who's Proof Reading?
Brave Men
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
GOOD - BETTER - BEST
2 jokes
Pensions
Men Strike Back!?
Clever Aussie
FUNNY-- Cat lover or not
FW: Test for Dementia
A few things you have probably never thought about!
Joke of the Year
BEWARE OF SCAM...
Another Blond Joke
The extroidinary life of older people in the suburbs
They Walk Among Us
Little Johnny...............(again)
Mid Life Crisis...
Fairy tale
BLUFFING
dishes
THE JOKE THAT JUST HAD TO HAPPEN
Elmo joke
Charles and Camilla
LITTLE JOHNNY RETURNS
the audit............
FW: Help Desk Jokes - this is funny!
Women
Two women
the genie
AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT
Good joke!!!
Faulty Driver, Faulty Policeman
Joke of the week!
noah's ark
7 KINDS OF SEX
FW: More Sesame Street goodness
If football teams were women
FW: Your Brazilian shirt name
This is cool
Payrise
FW: Test for Cataracts........ NSFW
FW: Do you have 710?
Dear Dad letter....- brilliant!
FW: What a Great Idea! :-)
FW: ooohh im excited
FW: Full Nike Football ads - BRILLIANT!
quote from Robot Chicken
FW: Possible Recruit
FW: World Cup
FW: try to park the car - very addictive
FW: Four Friends
FW: Drivers Licence
FW: The story of Sheep
FW: Advice for a friday...
FW: pirate talk translator
WORTH REPEATING
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND, IN THE PROCESS, GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.. We have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh", Adam replied.

"Then why did you? " said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it! " Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
for one day they will choose your nursing home.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
 
 
From Oto on 8/17/2006